Things I Believed in 2019 – Volume 3

Stop comparing yourself to others

I consistently catch myself comparing myself to my competition. I know we’re all different. We’re built differently. We have unique backgrounds and varying things going on in our lives.

We’re all gifted with distinct talents and plagued by a variety of weaknesses. Our training, diets, jobs, sleep schedules, body types, bikes, thoughts, and support systems are all exclusive to us.

I’m different from every person I line up with at the start line. Nothing I have in my life is the exact same as anyone who toes the line with me. And to compare myself to the women who beat me is to rob myself of any joy I experienced leading up to that point.

Being a perfectionist, I tend to focus on the end results rather than the process. When we only look at the number next to our name, we miss out on the things we did do right, the little markers of success that price we’re stronger than we were in the past.

The only person to compare yourself to is a previous version of you. Strive to be better, faster, kinder, stronger than you were yesterday. Then you’ll always be successful.

Goals are like a mountain

1. There isn’t a direct path to conquer them.

2. Often the route you choose isn’t the easiest. You have to be willing to take a few steps back in order to continue forward.

3. You’ll see how much farther you have to go and want to give up.

4. Having friends or family by your side makes it more enjoyable.

5. When you reach the top, you’ll see all the other possibilities across the horizon.

Life is made up of small moments

When I’m feeling down, I focus on the little things that bring me a modicum of joy.

Things like:

•The first sip of coffee

•The silence between cars passing by

•Reading & walking through the cemetery

•The smell of incense wafting through the house

•Stretching my arms above my head & feeling my sides elongate

•An encouraging word

Start taking note of the times that bring about a smile, a feeling of peace, and hope. They’re there & sometimes they’re difficult to find in the darkness.

I share this because sometimes we expect that joy can only come from the grandiose, the big wins, the ultimates but that isn’t life. Our lives are built from small moments that add up over time.

Don’t go through life alone

This morning I spent 2 1/2 hours answering my teammate’s question, “So, how are you personally?” She invited me to breakfast over the weekend after acknowledging that I seemed down lately. She wanted to help me with my writing goals. I suck at asking for help. I don’t want to burden people. I don’t want to be a nuisance. I want to come across as having my shit together.

I didn’t think I had so much pent up emotion, but at one point, with a bite-sized piece of sourdough bread pinched between my fingers, I couldn’t hold back tears anymore.

Sometimes I hide my hurt really well and sometimes, it leaks out over my vegetable hash.

I share this because I know I’m not the only one who feels like they need to be strong and independent and believe that asking for help is a sign of “weakness.” I know I’m not the only one who believes most people suck and don’t want to help.

Today was a reminder that there are people who randomly appear in your life who want to see you succeed and that it’s okay to be vulnerable with these folks. It’s okay to take their advice and listen to them and cry.

I tell you this so that the next time you’re faced with an unknown, give yourself permission to feel your emotions fully and to accept other people’s help. We don’t have to go through life alone.

Harden the F*ck Up

When the going gets tough, we gotta be tough back.

MENTAL TOUGHNESS IS:

⏲ Being able to suffer the longest.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Being willing to do what other athletes won’t do.

🏆 About your attitude and the way you think.

🥊 A habit – the more you train it, the stronger it becomes.

🧘🏼‍♀️ Consistently performing regardless of your situation.

🏋🏼‍♀️ Remaining confident under pressure.

😨 Tolerating pain and discomfort.

Listen to yourself

No one else can tell you what’s best for you.

They’ll try.

They’ll tell you what you should do, say, and think.

Because they have “experience.” They’ve “been there before.” But they’re not you.

No one knows you like you know you.

Listen to your gut.

Listen to your heart.

Listen to your brain.

Listen to your body.

The wisest guru is inside you.

You can only find them in the quiet stillness.

They have the answers you want to hear. They have the permission to give you that you desperately seek.

Listen.

Do/Say the thing that’s always on your mind

You know that thing you’re always thinking about?

Do it. Say it. Be it.

We’re not guaranteed a tomorrow or even the next minute. We aren’t guaranteed our jobs because those end, businesses close, people are jerks. Even if you perform well, you could still get told to kick rocks.

Absolutely nothing is guaranteed in life, except for death and taxes.

If you always play it safe, what kind of life is that? At the end of the day and at the end of our lives, how are we truly living? Are we just surviving? Are we thriving? Are we doing what we most desperately want to do?

You are what you consistently think

We’re constantly thinking thoughts — about 70,000, actually.

It’s just an endless loop of things running through our head like the Road Runner. That’s pretty much your brain. A Road Runner being chased by Wile E. Coyote.

When you have a Wile E. Coyote thought that you can’t easily let run away, when you start fixating on this thought, ask yourself:

Is this 100% true?

If you decide that it’s not entirely true, dump it. Let it run off the cliff like Wile E. Coyote.

Another question to ask yourself when you find yourself ruminating on a thought:

Is this contributing to my overall happiness?

If it’s not, drop it like it’s hot. Life is limited, folks. We can’t waste our short lives on thoughts that bring us down. It’s not worth it.

Live in the present

Folks, the present is too precious to waste.

Last night I was trying to remember what I did in Mallorca and you know what? The days melted together.

It’s only been a week since I’ve been back and already I’ve forgotten what I did out there, save for a few highlights.

I know why I can’t remember. I know why it all seems fuzzy.

I was too busy worrying about the future. So many things occupied my mind that I was never truly present – even on vacation.

I’m telling you this so you don’t make the same mistake.

Know that there will always be “to dos” and there will always be something to worry about.

But you can never keep the present. Stay in it for as long as you can because it’s forever fleeting. 

What'd you think?